Aham Brahmasmi

"Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near. So loved, so missed, so very dear." You are missed every single moment, Baba. Your warmth, largeheartedness, and genuiness in a frigid, selfish & hypocritical world. Maa and I know you'll be watching over us, for that's how you've always been. We just hope that we can make you happy.

I miss you, Baba. I so, so wish I could see the smile on your face again, hear your approaching footsteps before calling out to me, serve you tea in the morning, check if you've had your medicines and go to sleep every night knowing that maa and I are under the shelter of the strongest pillar in the whole world. I hope I can make you proud one day. And I always, always wish you peace and happiness, wherever you are.

  Ashis Kumar Mallik, 13.09.1954 – 16.09.2020 . Maa & I miss you every single moment. I'm trying to control the tears, but they seem to have a way of their own. Wherever you are, Baba, I hope you are at peace. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of honesty & integrity, of perseverance and patience, of practising what you preach and finding joy in the little things. Thank you for the many sacrifices you made, neither the magnitude nor the worth of which I will ever be able to repay. For me, Kipling's lines - " If you can keep your head when all about you / Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, / If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, / But make allowance for their doubting too; / If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, / Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, / Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, / And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise " - have always been about you. I hope I can always keep you alive within me. And I hope ...

How exactly does yearning work? Do we see something and wish to be there, or do we wish to be somewhere and just happen to have that image pop up in front of us? In this particular instance, for me it was both. Over the last few days, my mind has been crying out for some respite, for some release, for some Far-From-The-Madding-Crowd if you will (a bit ironical in these times of social distancing). Quite possibly I've been seeking an escape from myself. I haven’t really had a picture in mind of the place I’d like to lose myself in, even if it is but introspectively. And then today, when I was feeling more fatigued mentally than I have ever felt in recent years, this bewitching photograph jumped out at me on a social media platform. And I looked, and looked. And looked some more. Then, I closed my eyes. And I listened. To the sound of the water, the sound of the oars, the sound of feet splasing, the sound of birds on their way home. The sounds of dusk, the sense of a hiatus. A much ...

I’ve started learning to play the guitar recently. So when I found out that my cousin had got himself an ukelele , I had to try it of course. Fun times!